Monday, July 14, 2014
Take My Hand
A very wise friend told me "You have a story that in many ways you would rather not have, but God wants to use it for his glory!" We all have stories we may rather not have, but I just love that. I love that our stories through our journey with God can be uplifting for someone else. I love that they have purpose. We were never alone without God's help. If only we could stop, take a second, and realize there is always a hand reached out to help us, but we must choose to take hold of that. We must choose to let God help us. It's little things like my 2 year old wanting to open a Capri-Sun on his own, or my 5 year old wanting to pick out her own (VERY) fashionable outfit that help me to view the bigger picture. The choice to ask for help is there. I am even offering to help, but they want to do it. They are so determined to do it on their own, are we? How often do we try and get in the "Driver Seat" of life without help and take hold of "what we want" and "how we want to do it" and even "when we want it done?" Lord, Stop us when we do that! I pray for you to stop us and let us all realize we NEED your help!!! We need you for everything! Not just to mend a broken heart, fix a situation in which we can't escape on our own, or bring a loved one back home but literally for EVERYTHING. My friend was right. I do have stories of heart ache, tragedy, joy, and God's great mercy, but what I have more important than that is the great reveal of God. He saved me and delivered me out of my weakness when I couldn't without him. I never could be where I am or who I am on my own. This is all part of his plan...A much BIGGER picture that we can not yet see. We each were created by him and for him.
Life does not revolve around our "Beck and Call." How often do we catch ourselves trying to work a situation to benefit ourselves, or even ask God for something for selfish reasons? It's not about us. It's about what we can give, or what we have in ourselves that we can offer up for his goodness. I think we all have a fairytale dream of a perfect job, a perfect life, a perfect marriage, perfect children (in our minds), and how we think life should go. Our fairytale is waiting in Heaven where perfection can exist. We are all sinners. It's not because we don't love God. It's not because we don't strive to live life by his commandments. We are born sinners, and that's why Jesus paid the price. We will never be perfect in our flesh so why in the world would we expect anything to be perfect here on earth? They only time we are made perfect is in Him. Colossians 1:28 "Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus." There are gonna be bumps in the road. There is going to be heartache. There is going to be loss and longing. There are going to be trials and tribulations. If we don't REACH out and take hold of HIS hand, then we won't view it as a stepping stone. My brother said in his testimony "DON’T WAIT UNTIL SOMETHING TRAGIC OR BAD HAPPENS IN YOUR LIFE BEFORE YOU LEARN TO LOVE THE LORD AND PUT HIM FIRST. Of course he will be there for you whenever you need Him, but why wait? Things will be so much easier if he’s already in your life before one of those “UH-OH” moments hits. Stop and take time to know Him, because that is the most important thing anyone can ever do!" Trust his plan. Don't question it. Just think of all the moments in life where we do feel we are our happiest. Where are you at that moment? My guess is wherever we were & are in those moments, we can see they were all a moment of Blessing from God. They were something extraordinary that only He could ordain. I read in a Beth Moore devotional where it says "God is not some powerful ruler sitting up on his throne filled with anger & wrath, and throwing us punishment for our wrong doings." After reading, I myself wonder how often have I viewed my trials as a punishment for my sins instead of God's way of stopping me in my tracks and turning me back to Him. Have I ever thought he needed this to happen to strengthen me in an area of weakness to prepare me for his works (for his plan)?
We all know this "The Lord will never give you more than you can handle." 1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." Why think he is punishing us? He just wants us to seek him. He wants our unconditional love. He wants us to call on him and to know we need him. Look up all the references on God's Mercy, he isn't giving us situations to deal with because we are sinful, but to make us rely on him. Psalms 86:5 "For you, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy to all them that call on you." ...
Prayer:
LORD- Help me to call on you. Help me make it a point to find ways to serve you instead of always asking you to cater to me and my needs. I am a valuable piece of your plan, and you created me with purpose. Help me to make my life acceptable in your sight, not my own. I am reaching out for you Lord, and I am taking your hand! Psalms 37:23-24 "though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
My Experience With Beth Moore
Just recently, I had the opportunity to go to a Living Proof Live Event where I got to experience Beth Moore in Person. After having done a few of her bible studies, I knew it was sure to be amazing. This Sunday, I am getting the opportunity to share with my Sunday School Class all about the event and what it meant for me. This is what I have put together to share with them and any of you who may read....
My
Time With Beth Moore
A great
quote I read earlier this week from a blog called, "Heart of the
Matter" stated, "This longing, this ache, this pulsing of the deepest
part of who you are is the reason why you're here. Do not confuse it with
desire. Desire is wanting what you don’t have, Longing is wanting what you
do." This quote directly ties into
what Beth Moore shared with us at the Biloxi Living Proof Live Event. Through her sharing of stories, scripture,
and worship, Christ really transpired a beautiful message to everyone in the
facility. There was LOVE, JOY, PEACE,
PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNEES, GENTLENESS, and SELF CONTROL. The Fruit of the Spirit embodied us all. Of
course we went early to get a good seat. So waiting nearly 1 and 1/2 hour to
begin I glanced around taking in all of the people that surrounded me. There
were no two the same, but all of us alike were there with a longing for God,
for worship, and a renewed spirit.
Doesn't this make us all the same in one sense? As the music started, we
all stood to our feet. Me not knowing the words to sing, I just swayed to the
rhythm and felt my own sense of longing for our God, as I began crying without
even knowing it. It took two full songs
of crying before I realized I probably wasn't the only one that didn’t know the
words. Everyone else had just notice the words were displayed on the 8 regular
sized screens surrounding the stage as well as the 4 HUGE screens on each side
of the stage. After that, I think
everyone's mouth in the Coliseum was singing praise and lifting their hands up
as high as they could reach. It was certain we were all longing for our GOD.
Beth
quickly followed in after the music ended with a big opening question for us….
"Which would you rather have fulfilled, a Longing or a Desire?"
Then, she had each of us turned to our neighbor, tell them our answer, and
explain why. Me sitting in the middle, I kept quiet while taking in my mother's
answer and my sister-n-law's. It was an
easy out for me! I challenge each of you
to think about your answer for yourself as well. A desire
is defined as "the feeling of wanting something," "to
crave," and even "to covet." A Longing is defined as "A strong persistent desire of a
craving, especially for something unattainable or distant." Ok well,
so a desire should be easy to satisfy, and a longing "too much work?"
But if a desire is fulfilled, are we then satisfied or is it a mere second and we
are on to the next want or wish? This
was exactly Beth's point.
When
God made man, it tell us in Genesis that God created man in his own image,
in the image of God, he created them; male and female he created
them. Then in Colossians 1:16 we are told
"For in him all things were created. Things in Heaven and on earth,
visible and invisible, whether on thrones, with powers, or rulers, or
authorities; All things have been created through him and FOR HIM." So, what do we long for? What is our
persistent craving that we are all striving towards: To be with our Father, To be Made Perfect
in him, To be with our family, friends, people of all nations where there is no
suffering, and no sadness, but just that pure endless joy of Salvation. So, we
were created by God, in the image of God, For God! Our purpose here is to SERVE God.
Often
times we will be wrapped up in our everyday lives, where it almost takes
"hitting a brick wall" before having to stop and ask God to help us
get through it. Beth helped me realize that's not the kind of God we have. He is not a "one-call, that's-all"
quick fix. He is a father of mercy, of compassion, of forgiveness, and the most endless
loves imaginable. He wants me to
seek him all day, if I'm happy, if I'm sad, if I'm bored , or if I'm busy. Put
him in the moment with me and I'll come out of the other side going, "Wow,
that was so much easier than it could have been." When we ask God to be
our savior, and welcome him into our hearts, he is sealed in us by his holy
spirit. He will not banish that from us or give it to us on a loan. It is there we are marked as his, and we are
always forgiven for our sins. God bought
us at a mighty price. He loves us so much he gave his son for us, so we know is
"For us." (Romans 8:31 If God
is for us, who can be against us?)
Beth
asked the audience if anyone had ever had an experience where we knew with
absolute certainty God was present. I
immediately thought of Walker and all the miscarriages I had been through
before him. I thought of that moment in
the sonogram room when I fully trusted God, and he showed me his mercy. It made
me think of all God had done for me. She
said as great as whatever experience we may have had, that was simply a taste
of what is to come. That was simply a taste from "'A' tree of life" but not as great as the taste
of "'The' tree of life"
will be. She said imagine what it will
be like when we go home to be with our King and are standing in front of "'The' tree of Life!"
Can you even imagine? Our best experiences on earth are but a mere taste of a
small fraction of what it will be like. That still amazes me!
Our
faith gives us hope in what is to come.
Therefore if we Love God and Have faith in him then we must have hope
and not give up on one another or our circumstances. This immediately hit home for me as well with
my oldest brother. As I could relate to
wanting so desperately to give up on Hunter after all he has done, but I
realized I must have hope for him because I have faith in our Lord. Hunter can leave this town, and he can escape
our family, but he will never escape
the sovereign Love of God.
Beth
Moore made another great point also when she asked, "Do we sometimes
get so busy missing those who aren't here that we are missing those who
are?" Oh, how true a statement.
Let's don’t ever forget those here with us because we are "longing" for those who are
not. Be Present with those we have. Be
present, and be thankful!
All of
this and that's just scratching the surface of my weekend…. Beth Moore helps
break it down for all of us that need for it to be "Spelled out" in
"Black & White," Ha! She gave us 9 key points during our time there and luckily since I'm sharing my
experience, I wrote them all down.
·
(1) All
Our Longings Lie Open Before The Lord. 1 Chronicles 28:9 tells us that God searches
every heart and understands every motive behind our thoughts. So God understands where our Longings are
coming from. Psalm 38:9 says "All my longings lie open before you, Lord;
my sighing is not hidden from you."
·
(2) If
It's Not Long, It's Not A Longing.
This I think we can all relate too. See the word "Long-ing"
·
(3) If
It Never Aches, It's Not Intense Enough For A Longing. In
Matthew 23:37, We are told that Jesus grieved over Jerusalem, he,
himself stated, "How often I have longed
to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wing,
but you were not willing!" Sometimes we long for something so bad that
it becomes a physical ache, "A
Thirst of our Souls."
·
(4) A
Longing Fulfilled Is "A Tree Of Life" (not "The" Tree but "A" Tree). Proverbs 13:6 says "Hope deferred makes
the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is" A" tree of life. What God prepared us for, he also gave
us a longing for. So in a sense, we have been "rigged" in our
longings. Beth Moore is big on breaking
down a word and giving Greek translations.
Longing in Greek is OREGO, and means "to stretch out or to reach
out for something especially with the hands."
·
(5) If
God Prepared It, We Were Wired To Long For It. In John Chapter 14,
Jesus tells us, "Do not let your hearts be troubled, I go to prepare a
place for you", and that he is coming back for us, and that we know the
way to the place. Ecclesiates 3:11 says he also "set eternity in the
hearts of men." Everything longs, 1 Peter 1:12, tells us that even
"angels long to look into salvation." Matthew 23, Jesus
"longs" for us. Isaiah 31, the Lord longs to be gracious to us. All
of our longings will be met in Christ. Beth
Moore puts it this way-"Thirst
is to the Body, What Longing is to the Soul!"
·
(6) We
Were Created To Long For Companionship.
Every longing was created to be reciprocated. When you truly love
someone you have a built in longing for them. 2 Timothy 1:4- Paul wrote, "Recalling
your tears, I long to see you, so
that I may be filled with joy."
·
(7) Lust
Is The Souls Demand To Shortcut A Longing Fulfilled. Lust and greed
become a grave for us, as
explained in John, Chapter 4 when Jesus asked the Samaritan women for a drink of
water at the well. He tells her whoever
drinks the water at the well be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water he
gives them will never thirst again. He says "the water I give him will
become a spring of water welling up to eternal life." Lust is sinful and will only lead to a new
thirst. It most certainly won't quench
our souls longing. A short cut will just
leave you coming up short.
·
(8) We
Long For Grace. Isaiah 30:18 tells us "the Lord longs to be gracious
to us. He rises to show us compassion.
For the Lord is a God of Justice, Blessed are those who wait for Him!"
(The Bible even puts an exclamation point here!!!) If we wait for him to fulfill our Longing
for Him, we will be just that, blessed.
·
(9) We
Long For God! At the end of the
day everything we long for is identified in Him.
How
amazing as she closed her event she did so with the very scripture my brother,
Sterling used to live out the last 10 & 1/2 years of his life to serve the
Lord. She had us turn to 2 Timothy 4:8.
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the
faith. Now there is in store for me a
crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me
on that day-and not only to me but also to all who have 'LONGED' for his appearing."
But wait, that's not all. That wasn't
the end for Sterling or for Paul who wrote this passage in his last days,
because then she had us turn to Revelation
22 1&2, "Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life,
as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the
middle of the great street of the city.
On each side of the river stood "THE Tree of Life" bearing 12 crops of fruit, yielding its
fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the
nations." See that image in your
mind. See that image when you think you can't.
See our Lord awarding you, your crown of righteousness. See yourself
surrounded by all those who have "Longed"
for your salvation waiting for you right under "'THE' TREE OF LIFE." Imagine how good it will be at
that point when you, fully restored in your perfect body are with your King and
Savior. Won't you too look back and say, "It was all worth Eternity with
You," because we know Christ will! Amen!
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
I will thank the Lord all the days of my Life.....
Encouraged to share my story, I sat down and began writing. I'll never forget the first moment I experienced a mother losing an unborn child. Though it may have been early on, it doesn't lessen the pain. The pain feels as if it tears through the very core of your heart. It was Christmas night of 2009, and I was sitting at my mother in law's table when I got the call from my mother. My brother, Hunter and his wife, Kristen had lost their baby. I can't remember the number of weeks she carried, but to me it's irrelevant. I sobbed as my heart hurt for her and the pain she must have felt. I remember specifically saying to my mother in law, "I can't begin to imagine what she is feeling." The very next month on January 31, 2010, my brother Sterling passed away, another nearly unbearable pain. I'm not sure of the timing, but very shortly after, there were 3 new babies conceived in our family. It was surely a gift from God. We all know the verse, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away." It was almost as if He was fulfilling that promise of new life, where there was such great loss. Well, I prayed over Kristen for twins, mainly since she had lost her baby a few months before. I thought I was being cute, but I received a text from her saying, "You got your wish."It was, sadly, a very short pregnancy for me, a devastating loss, and I knew for myself what it felt like for a mother to miscarry. It was the beginning of a long road for David and me, and our family. Over the next two years, we endured the loss of 5 children through miscarriage. It was so hard for me to understand why I was losing these babies, after carrying my first child, Sterling Belle, to term with ease and having the greatest child birth experience imaginable. The love and amazing grace that washes over a mother as she gets that first glance and hears that first cry of her child at birth is pure joy. For me, it was like the closest earthly experience you can compare to the joy you will surely feel with your first glimpse of heaven. As I experienced each loss, I felt as if part of my soul was dying.I remember a time on the way to one of my doctor visits, and I knew the miscarriage process had begun. I quickly flipped my radio to a Christian station and began praying, begging God for my instinct to be wrong, but I had been right. I lost another child. I don’t know that any one miscarriage was ever harder than another, but this one nearly destroyed me. I had made it through what the doctor called "the danger zone." This time, unlike the other, my precious child had a heartbeat and a great one at that! Morning sickness, midday sickness, afternoon sickness, and night sickness, I had it all. I called the doctor quite frequently to complain and beg for help to cope with the nausea. He assured me this was a great sign as it meant the pregnancy was thriving.I went back around 11 weeks, which happened to fall on my father's birthday. I was known at the doctor's office for being a little dramatic and a little demanding, so they weren’t surprised when I said, “If I'm going to survive until my next visit, I'm going to have to get a sonogram today!” I told the doctor I needed to see my baby and "get a little ray of sunshine." Down to the sonogram room I went, and there my child was on the screen. I starred at that baby. I saw the arms, legs, tiny hands, and tiny feet. All I thought was "Beautiful!" Then, I saw the stillness. At some point, they predicted five days before my visit the heart had stopped beating. Again, I lost a child. At that point I had had enough. I requested my tubes be tied. Lucky for me, my doctor knew me all too well, and he knew I wasn't ready to give up.I was referred to a specialist, where I had every test in the book run, but there were no explanations. Encouraging me to try again, the doctor suggested using hormones to help sustain the pregnancy through the 1st trimester, and so I did. Again, in July of 2011, I lost, yet, another child. At that point, I said that’s it! I told the doctor I needed time off, and I would contact him if I ever felt ready. From July until October 1, 2011, I focused my mind and heart on running, to prepare for the first “Run For Sterl”, a half marathon for the cure of spinal cord injury in memory of my brother. This kept me busy and helped me to bury the urge in my mind to try again! The intensive training made getting pregnant not an option, but after the race had come and gone, the first place trophy wasn’t enough to silence my heart. David and I decided if it were to happen, we had to keep it to ourselves, because, at this point, I'm sure everyone wondered, "When will she give up?" I started praying for this to work. Anything I heard would help, I tried it. I got acupuncture once a week, and gave myself a shot daily for the first trimester. I had my heart, mind, and body all in it. I went to the doctor weekly to monitor my progress from the beginning, and everything looked good; so, at this point, we told our families. David and I went to the appointment where they predicted that we would hear a heartbeat, but there wasn't one. They told us to come back and try again next week. We walked out, and there, sitting in the hallway, was my mother (I had told her that I had wanted to go alone, but she wanted to be there, “ just in case.”) Ha! I told her what happened, and I knew she was thinking, “Here we go again,” but I still had faith. My next appointment was within a week of Christmas. I told David I wanted to go by myself, and I told my mother not to show up. This was something I had to do alone! By chance, when I got there, they were delayed due to a procedure for another patient. So, as I lay on the examination table, waiting to see what fate held for my child and me, I cried out to God to spare this child. Strangely enough, I prayed for my son, not even knowing it was boy at that point. God knew having another child was my heart's greatest desire. I promised him right then, if he did this for me, I would share my story, and give God all the glory. So much time had gone by, I had to text everyone just to let them know I hadn't even seen the doctor yet. One doctor came in and started the procedure for the sonogram. She was silent, and so was the audio that should play the heartbeat. I closed my eyes again and told God, “ I know it's there. I believe in you.” Then the doctor said, “I see a very small twitch, but it's so tiny I'm having a hard time picking it up to hear.” She finally got it, and it was only a little over 100 beats per minute, but it was joy to my ears. I broke out in tears.I videoed it and sent the tiny flutter to everyone, so when I called crying they wouldn’t be alarmed. I was very nervous, but I knew we would make it. God let me know this one was going to work, as long as I had faith. I welcomed my son on July 3, 2012 almost a year, exactly, after my last loss. Wow! God is always there, and He always comes through with his promises, in His time! It's up to us to have the faith and to lean on him when enduring our trials in life. I gave up hope a lot. I lost faith a lot. But with Walker, I knew he was the one. God helped me hold on to my faith, and he showed me that if I call on God, in God's name, God will see it through.After Walker was born, my brother Sterling came to me in a dream and took me to a beautiful place filled with people that were waiting to go to heaven. When I walked through the doors, there were two boys standing to greet me. He told them, "This is your Mother." I got big hugs from both, and if I think long enough, it's almost as if I can still feel them. There was a third child that ran past, very mischievous and full of life. Sterling looked at me and said "That's another one, but I told him, ‘He’s mine.’" He smiled at me, and my dream was over. We all have different types of struggles in this life, but, from my story, I hope you see there’s only one way to get you through them. There is only one way to attain our promise. This Sunday, we will baptize Walker. We will promise to raise him in the church and teach him all the things that being a Christian means. We will stand as a family, within our church family, and praise God for this special life that He chose for us. All glory be to God!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)